Welcome to Transform My Lifestyle. My name is Sarah I am a recovering drug addict. If you have personally had experience with addiction, if you are affected by a loved one’s addiction or you are interested in lifestyle transformations in general, then this raw and transparent blog will deliver you hope, strength, courage, awareness, information and most of all lots of love.
I was once a healthy, intelligent, very much loved and innocent child. Following years of school bullying, several traumatic life experiences, my mother falling sick to breast cancer and my parent’s marriage break up. I found myself addicted to drugs as young teenager. I left school at 14 and I was living on the street by 16. I was a very troubled teen; I did everything and anything to self-medicate my emotional pain. This early onset of escapism became the destructive foundation for how I chose to live my life.
Instead of living a healthy mainstream Australian lifestyle by investing years into an education and attending university I opted for a career in a 16 year poly substance addiction. I mastered a drug fueled lifestyle that I wouldn’t wish anyone or any family to endure.
During my 16 years of using, I was fortunate to have periods of functionality. On the exterior I didn’t look like a “typical addict”, I travelled the world, worked, volunteered and I was maintaining the constant juggling of my facades until eventually living multiple lives became extremely exhausting. I had attempted suicide several times, my mental health deteriorated over the years resulting in long and frequent psychiatric admissions. I had been through many detoxes and rehabilitation facilities. I exhausted various forms of religions & spirituality. I exposed myself and my body to lots of abuse, trauma and engaged in toxic relationships. I did everything to feed my addiction that I swore as a woman I would never do. I was not living life, I was merely existing from day to day. In the end my life had become totally unmanageable.
It wasn’t until December 2013 that I hit ‘rock bottom’ for the very last time. I weighed a frail 41kgs, my skin was yellow, bruised and scarred. One late, cold and lonely night I knew my body was completely failing me and there was no way out. As I was on my death bed, in that moment i fell to my knees and into the fetal position and screamed: “If there is a God, please either just let me go now so i am peace or save me from the awful existence, i don’t want to die a junkie”. It was in those minutes of absolute desperation that something supernatural and profound happened to me.
Now as I reflect over my past, I do not play the victim card. Every day I am filled with absolute gratitude and happiness that I am alive and have been given this chance to get life right. This is the purpose of my blog. I aim to use my past experiences as positive and powerful tools to support other people. I know I didn’t suffer 16 years of addiction for nothing. I truly believe it is my life purpose to share, educate & empower others on how I transformed my life from a destructive, delusional, miserable, debilitating existence into a healthy, happy, faith driven life.